Rock Webcast • com
Rock Webcast • com
I was born on the marble floor of a log cabin in Texas during breakfast; making me of legal drinking age.
I enjoy outdoor activities like startling skunks and peeing on electric fences. I like doing things in dark, damp places and would like to find someone who enjoys the same. I love selling counterfeit Britney Spears panties on eBay and dream of opening a five-star tanning salon in the Paris Hilton. Like my parole officer, I feel that if you find the right vocation, chances are you're not qualified.
I work as Lead System Architect and part time telemarketer for a hydro colonic spa in Nashville Tennessee. Calling people at dinner time to discuss evacuating their bowls has helped me immensely with the online dating scene.
My special lady is petite and had long auburn hair before the "incident". We'll go out again just as soon as the restraining order expires.
I enjoy a lovely home; until the owners invariably come home and chase me away. I love exercise and enjoy a good chase from the police on a rainy day.
My mother told me that I was conceived in the back seat of a 1964 Nova hatchback on her prom night. Since that time, I've become inexplicably drawn to used car salesmen and the smell of cheap upholstery. I grew up the only boy in a town full of Mormon women. Plagued by sexual harassment at the hands of my sisters, I learned the martial arts from the only gay Karate Instructor I've ever known.
I was baptized as a Buddhist, circumcised by a freelance Mohel and spent the first years of my life sequestered in a monastery, so I consider myself religious but not spiritual. My sect believes everyone else's God is make-believe. Each time we are re-born, we return one rung lower on the ladder of life. Eventually, we come out as a dingle-berry on a dog's ass.
I'm generally not a "club" person, but sometimes I'll dress up in my best lingerie and hit the line dancing circuit. I love traveling and often request the middle seat and watch porn on my laptop during long flights. The accommodations aren't great but I've met a lot of wonderful people and have become adept at body cavity searches.
Since I got out of the Navy, life has been about taking advantage of all of the things I could not have while sharing a bunk with other men: my own bar of soap, keeping a whole pack of cigarettes to myself, being able to fall asleep without screaming.
Although I love to read, since I'm illiterate I don't get to do it very often.
My therapist tells me that I need to relax more. Which reminds me … I've never seen a psychiatrist on TV that gives an enema on every visit.
I've been told that I'm good looking, sexy, have great legs, am fun to be with and an exceptional wit. But she may have said that just to get me to eat my peas.
They say that the majority of successful relationships begin in the workplace. Although I've had passionate relationships with the UPS driver, the Xerox repair person, three of the security guards, fourteen temps, all of the cleaning women and half of the secretaries, I still haven't found "the one". Having exhausted all of my workplace options, I'm turning to Match.com to meet that special someone.